Daily Tips for Families

Today's Tip for Families

04-05-2023

Responsibility Comes From Owning the Problem

It happens to many families of middle and high school students: Suppose it’s 9:00 p.m. Your student looks up from the computer and says, “Oh, I forgot, I have a science project due tomorrow.”

Do you:

A) Start making a list of what your teen needs to do? Stay up all night looking for pictures your student can use in the presentation?
B) Wish your teen well and go to bed?

If you answered A, you’ve forgotten who owns the problem. It was your teen’s decision to put off the project. Your teen must be the one to figure out how to get it done.

It’s hard to watch children make mistakes. But it is important to let them own the problems they create. If you rush in to fix everything, your teen won’t learn the organization or coping skills that are so necessary in adulthood.

One late project is not the end of the world. It's not something you have to save your teen from. And earning a low grade may help motivate your teen to start a little earlier next time.

Not owning a problem doesn’t always mean you have to ignore it completely, however. If your teen is arguing with a friend, listen and help your student think through what to do next. If your student is struggling with math, offer an encouraging reminder, "You've figured out tough problems before. I'm sure you can do it now."

Of course, there are times when parents must step in. If your teen is about to do something that puts themself or anyone else in danger, then you must act.

The next time your teen has a problem, ask, “Who owns this problem?” Letting students own self-made problems fosters the power to solve them.

Brought to you by:

Nye County Schools
Pahrump, NV

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