Daily Tips for Families

Today's Tip for Families

09-22-2021

Limits Are Not the Same as Punishment

For some time now, your teen may have been telling you that he thinks he is old enough to be allowed to do whatever he wants. He’s wrong.

Not only is your teen still too young to make all his own decisions, he also secretly craves a firm set of limits from you.

Teens need limits to stay out of trouble and learn responsibility. Limits help them avoid risky behavior and focus on being good students. But they also need limits because having them tells them how much their parents care for and love them.

It’s best if you can discuss and agree on limits with your teen and then stick to them. The limits should only be changed when it’s clear to both of you that your teen has become older and more mature, and can handle more responsibility.

Limits are not punishment, no matter how much your teen complains that they are. Just explain that "These are the rules, and breaking them has consequences."

One author uses the example of a store closing to help parents understand how to treat limits. At a certain time, the store closes. It doesn’t close to punish anyone, nor does it stay open longer because you forgot what the hours were. It simply closes because those are its rules.

Source: R.S. Angaran, “Teens Headed for Trouble: Turning it Around,” Positiveparenting.

Brought to you by:

Webster County Schools

[School Success Ideas for Families]