Daily Tips for Families

Today's Tip for Families

11-30-2022

Don't Treat a Challenge Like It's Just a Phase

Every stage of childhood presents certain challenges. As children overcome these challenges, they gain skills they need to become healthy adults. But if you tend to dismiss your child's problems or negative behavior as "just a phase," you may overlook the seriousness—and the depth—of your child's feelings. That may lead your child to believe you don't understand, you aren't listening, or you just don't care.

Kids who don't feel they can turn to their parents for support will look for help elsewhere. And what they find may not be positive.

To support your child through emotional challenges:

Carefully examine the problem. Does your child use lots of unacceptable language after playing with a particular friend? Seem especially fearful on the day of a spelling test? Watch closely. Then ask your child to talk about what's going on.
Listen. Sometimes children know exactly what's wrong but don't want to tell their parents because they're afraid of their parents' reaction. If that's the case, try to listen without getting angry, sarcastic or defensive. If your child doesn't know what's causing the problem, keep watching and listening until you start to figure it out.
Encourage your child to try to solve the problem. Many parents want to solve all problems for their kids. That doesn't help children grow to be strong adults. For many problems, it is more effective to listen and help your child think through options for dealing with the issue.
Correct inappropriate behavior. You are still the adult. If your child is suddenly using bad language, you have a right to say "Stop" and suggest phrases you'd like to hear instead. A bad phase can drag on longer if parents don't set some limits.
Ask what you can do to help. Kids can't solve all problems on their own. You can let your child know you'll always be there to help.

Brought to you by:

Clairemont Elementary School Title I Department

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